Going Forward.....

Things are going forward....

Dad ha been out to the island for the first time this year!! He spent the whole Saturday there with my mum and brother. In the evening they went for dinner at Gunnel and Stefans place, together with Rose-Marie and Thomas. :-) He had to have a bit of a rest at their place as very tired after a long day outside, but that does not matter, what matters is that he was well enough to join in, even if only for a while!!

He has also started to eat some normal food, but very small portions and all "mashed up", but its always something!! He has even gained some weight....2 kilos, and is very proud and happy about this.

So what about me.....I am OK. I am starting to be very busy with my PhD as I am in my final 6 months. This keeps me busy and my mind occupied...at least for now. And it is definately million times easier to be "over here" when i know things are going good "over there"!! It was much harder for example a week ago...Funny how things goes UP and DOWN....

I also manage to keep my running and yoga going, together with swimming and boxing, and I just love it...gives me so much energy......must remember to keep it up even when things are hard.

Lots of love to all of you,

xxx

Sol i sinnet...

Pratade med pappa en en liten stund i gaar paa dagen. Han faar fortfarande behaalla maten som han tar genom PEGGEN och foersoeker samtidigt eta lite mer den "vanliga vegen", blaaber med gredde, ostkaka med gredde och sylt....funkar OK. Men inget smakar tydligen saa verst gott....eller det smakar rettare sagt ingenting!!

Men de seger ju att smaken kommer tillbaks vart efter som, ibland tar det laangtid, foer en del gaar det snabbare, men foer de flesta blir det aldrig riktigt som foerr....

Men han laater mycket gladare nu, att vara hemma goer honom nog gott. Att ha mamma och bror der och att faa besoek av vennerna nestan varje dag, och smaa saker som att kolla paa fotboll och titta paa bilar paa internet etc hoejer ocksaa upp humoeret! ;-)

Passade paa att beretta att jag kommer hem igen en sveng i Maj! Om lite drygt 2 veckor.....

Sjelv maar jag ocksaa bettre! Efter naagra dagar tillbaks her i England saa har vardagen infunnit sig och allt knallar paa i en saader lagom fart....

Kendes bra att pappa trots allt var paa bettringsvegen redan ner jag for hem hit igen och att han nu er endaa bettre underlettar ju nu ner man trots allt befinner sig flera hundra mil bort, i ett annat land....

Vedret er fortfarande underbart....det spritter i benen och sol i sinnet. I kvell ska jag ut paa en laang jogging tur lengs med kanalen!!

Hoppas nu att det fortsetter aat rett haall....haller tummar och taar....

Tillbaks i England igen...

Det var med blandade kennslor som jag for tillbaks hem till England igen. Hem...hm, jag har nog tvaa hem foer jag seger alltid "hem till Sverige" och "hem till England"!!

Moettes av ett mycket vackert, vaarig och soligt England!! Apple traeden blommar vackert och bjoerkarna er saa der fint ljus groena....

Pratade men mamma och pappa igaar, allt var bra. De hade haft besoek av flera venner under dagen (soendag) vilket hade varit trevligt. De hade even gaatt pappas 400m promenad och sedan varit och tittat paa ner lillebror spelade fotboll (even om pappa hade mest suttit i bilen...men endaa). Matintaget hade gaatt bra even under resten av helgen och pappa har faatt behaalla allt. Mamma och till viss del brorsan har ju nu tagit oever ansvaret med maten... Jag fixade ju det hela foerra veckan och det kendes bra att jag kunde hjelpa till lite iallafall. Pappa skemtade och sa att de var tyverr inte like duktiga som jag paa att vara "mat-tant/sjukskoeterska och att han tyckte jag skulle komma tillbaka...

Har redan kollat paa flyg och hoppas kunna aaka tillbaks om ca 3 veckor igen.....

Han var piggare och det kenns bra att det foerhoppningsvis gaar aat rett haall...even om det gaar sakta....

Tenkte ocksaa passa paa och tacka all mina fina venner som jag passade paa att treffa ner jag var hemma, even om det kanske bara blev naagon lunch, fika, liten oel, eller en herlig middag.....betyder saa mycket! Ni vet vilka ni er saa puss paa er!!

Och ett tack till alla mamma och pappas venner! Om ni bara visste vad ert stoed betyder, baade foer pappa och mamma men even foer mig och bror.... Som ner en skoeterska fraagade om pappa vill prata med naagon: "Nej tack, jag har min fru, min familj och alla mina venner om jag vill prata....det recker foer mig!"

Kerlek och Kramar till er alla och hoppas ni faar en bra vecka!

EASTER WAS HARD

Easter was strange. I came home just before Easter and looked forward to spending time with my family, see friends, eat yummy easter food, stuff myself with sweets from the easter egg, spend time at the summerhouse on the island and I wished for warm sunny weather. Funny enough I actually got all these things, but it was still not the same....my dad could not come back home and therefore unable to spend Easter with us.

We went to the hospital instead to visit him on Saturday (Påskafton) and for me that was heartbreaking. I had not seen my dad for over 3 weeks and he had lost a lot of weight recently. For the first time; he looked ill....skin was grey, lost over 2 stones in total ( över 12 kilo, 15 kg för att vara exakt), and I am sure the hospital setting did not help much...his too big hospital clothes and drip. But he looked nothing like the dad I know and suddenly it was an old man infront of me. It was hard.

His mood was down as well. The treatment went so well and he was so positive, he looked forward to the recovery which started well and then this happened. First infection in the PEG and then some strange reaction to the food......he could not keep anything down and after over a week with basically nothing more than a nutrition drip (närings dropp) it showed both physically and psychologically.

By Tuesday he was well enough to come home....or at least to try to. Wednesday was hard.... it felt like I was feeding him through the PEG constantly from 7am to 9pm and we still only managed 1500Kcal and most of it he did not keep anyway, as kept throwing up! Its hard to see your dad this weak...but I try to cope the best I can.

Thursday: Much better day, stay positive!! After talking to the pain unit at the hospital, dietician and his consultant (över läkare) we decided to try something different. He got a new medication preventing him from feeling sick, and they will reduce his morphine patches from 100mg to 75mg (as pain in throat is not the main problem at the moment anyway). We also stoped with the food he is suppose to eat and tried different things instead. Filmjölk (like yoghurt), nutritiondrinks, soup...all through the PEG and blueberries with full fat cream and blueberrysoup the "normal way". We also tried a bit of bread just to get the chewing going. My dad did his best to not only lay down, instead he sat up, walked around in the kitchen a bit and we even walked outside in the sunshine (even if only managed 400m).

All these things together worked and he kept all his 1750Kcal that we managed to collect!!! Yippiieee!!

How can one day make such a different?!? Mood better, looked better and yes its a bit of my old dad coming back! Fingers crossed that today is good too!

Its a contant battle with the food....but we will get there, together!!

Now its time for our 400m walk in the sunshine again! :-)

LOTS OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Today is my dads birthday! 63 years old. GRATTIS!!!
Unfortunately he will not be able to celebrate much. After his visit to A&E yesterday, he is now admitted to the regional hospital in Linkoeping again. I don't know for how long yet. I am going home tomorrow and hopefully he can come home too for the Easter weekend.

PUSS

Another Battle...

So yes, treatment is over and yes my dad were allowed home on Friday but now another battle starts. The recovery process....It may sound like a straight way a head but no....Its a battle both physically and mentally. Both of above for my dad while the latter is for the rest of us. We have now moved away from that "treatment bubble" which in a funny way felt secured....you had an aim and a focus: get throught treatment and with help of the daily support of all the wonderful nurses and doctors at the Oncology Centre. But we are sort of on our own now, and what happens next???

Mentally its hard, as now you start to think about; Has it worked? What if it has not worked? When will we find out??

Physically its hard for dad; these weeks are suppose to be the worse. He is on a daily high dose of morphine to ease the pain at least a bit. When my mum asked he said his pain is at 7 at the moment on a scale from 1-10 (and that is with all the morphine). He also has an infection from the PEG surgery and is taking antibiotics. He started to get fever yesterday and and got worse this morning and is right now in A&E (akuten).

Will update when I know some more.

Das is coming home on Friday.

My dad is still in hospital but is doing OK. They think he will be able to come home on Friday so that is good news! I cannot wait to go home for Easter to see everyone and fingers crossed that my dad is well enough to stay at home. Only one week left to go and then I will be there!!!
xx