Pretty low at the moment...

Week 5 past without major problems. I saw my dad on the 10th as I were coming home a day earlier before I went skiing for the weekend as I really wanted to see him even if it was just for a day! He looked OK, lost a bit more weight and also a little bit of hair in the neck region. This is something he was not happy about!! Both mum and I said that it does not matter but he kept looking in the mirror to see if he could see anymore evidence of hair loss….
I talked to him again on the phone yesterday which was start of week 6. He is now feeling pretty poorly since Sunday and is going to be admitted to the hospital tomorrow. They will do the surgery to insert the PEG on Thursday and he will probably stay at the hospital over the weekend. It has gone so well until now so guess we should be happy about that, but it appears that maybe harder time are in front of us…..

So what about me; I feel pretty low at the moment and close to tears pretty much all the time…. I think I have coped very well since treatment started as you are sort of in a bubble, focused on the treatment only and not looking forward to the future too much. My dad has done so well which of course also made the whole journey so much easier. But now it starts to feel a bit….